One Gallon

In a desperate attempt to rescue myself form never painting again, I started to stalk paper together, one piece of mail at a time. I glued them together to create a little manolith. It felt pathetic at first, sitting in my studio, not drawing, just gluing piece by peice. Now it is a tiny structure. I want to make a second one and see where it goes. It is subtly beautiful when you hold it up and look at all the different kinds of paper next to one another. I ran out of glue so I bought one gallon to make sure it won't happen again.

New Hope

I went on a trip home form my Mom's birthday. The hope I had for this trip was to see the pacific northwest and to have a renewed sence of confidence in my paintings. What I was not expecting was for it to happen on the plane ride there. A rush of ideas hit me as soon as I pulled out my tiny sketchbook on the plane. How wonderful, and over due. I have been feeling stuck for most of the year, and to finally have some motivation is refreshing. Hopefully over the next few months I will be working on a few projects at a time. There is a fabric project, a paper, and of course my paintings.  Hopefully they will all start to inform each other and my work will begin moving forward.

Stuck

Alright, alright I will admit it, I am stuck in a rut. This rut feels as big as a ditch. Painting is becoming impossible. I simply hate the paintings I have started, and it isn't getting better. After months of looking and making small moves no improvements to the paintings have been made, and I am greatly discouraged. The small collages I started don't feel like they are helping. At least they keep me in the studio and my hands moving. The one breakthrough (if you can call it that) I have had is I now know what is holding me back. It turns out that I don't know what kind of landscape I want to make. I seem to be stuck between the Northern California landscape I see everyday, and the Pacific Northwest landscape I want to continue to paint. When I figure out what I want to do, maybe I will be able to work successfully (I hope).

Installation?

Does transforming a space for a birthday party count as an art installation? When do decorations cross the line and become an installation? These are the questions I have been asking myself. I was sitting on the floor in my living room ripping paper bags into strips and taping them into tree branches, and after the third evening it occurred to me that this is not a normal way to decorate for a birthday party. People usually put up some streamers, and are done. With the amount of work I am putting in... I might be crazy.

However, my decorations have a goal. The decorations are meant to transform my house, and put my guests in a different mind set. I don't want them to feel that they are in a house, at a  party, because that would be the same old thing. I want them to feel surrounded by trees, in a space that makes them smile and laugh. Additionally, I will change the lighting in the house to make is much darker.

How does this fit into my art practice? For one thing, I am reusing paper bags to make all of the trees. I have also been interested in experimenting with art installations for a while, and I think this is good practice for that.

Out of the Box

A friend called and asked me to be a part of an art show in L.A. to hep celebrate Dia de los Muertos. Of course, I agreed. My inishal thought was to make something in my usual recycled matterials. But upon reconsidering I decided that this was my chance to break out of the usual.

Coastal Clean-up

     This Saturday I participated in a coastal clean-up along the Richmond shoreline. I was very much looking forward to making a difference, and being insired to continue the work that I do. One of these things happend. The trash was everywhere. There were about 200 of us at this one sit, we picked up more than 800 lbs of trash in a 3 hour period. That is all well and good, because that trash really needed to be taken out of the habitat. However, when I left there was still visible trash. The whole experiance sent/is still sending me trough a tug-of-war of emotions.

      Arriving at the site, seeing all the people I was just sure we were going to band together and clean up the wetland thoroughly. When I left the path and decended down the hill the garbage was in every direction in front of me. My reaction, "Whoa." I couldn't speak, I literally had to stop in my tracks to take in what I was about to walk into. Once I had regained my bearings I charged into the fray. I would say that waves of emtionent were passing over me, but it wasn't quite like that. It was feeling multipule things at one time. Angery at the people who were making the trash, mixed with emporwerment because I was picking it up. Guilt because I am sertain that some of what I have used has flown off a grabage truck, or out of my hands and ended up in a place like this.

       How can I stop this? How can I help? I decided that I would tell all of my friends about it. Particularly those he said they would be there, but negected to do so for whatever reason. Maybe if people knew the severity of the issue steps could be taken by all of us to prevent so much form ending up in the environment. Apart from telling my friends, I am taking some advice from Michael Jackson and stating with the man in the mirror. I am asking myself to change my ways.

 Steps to be taken:
Number one (and this is the biggest): Determine where my trash is coming from. Take mental notes whenever I throw something out. The more data i have, the more informed I am about my habits.
Number two: Try to buy product with very little rapping that will produce less waist.
Number three: Buy less. Do buy things I don't need, and try to buy used.
Number four: Reuse plastic bags. Number five: take the time to divide garbage, recycle, and compost.

Craft Monster

Halloween is just around the corner. October is high season for making Christmas gifts, so my halloween costume needs to be finished this month. That makes end of summer and fall high craft season. This year I am in the middle of cleaning out my house/life, getting rid of supplies that I have not used in a few years. I would rather use the small pieces of fabric than throw anything away, so I am finding places on my costume that could use more ruffles, or another bow. As a result, my costume might be more extravagant than it has been in the passed. Along with costume making I am getting ready to decorate for Halloween in my house, and at work. This gives me a chance to make decorations out of my as yet unused craft supplies. It is exciting that I might be able to make a costume, and decorate a house without buying one thing!

Reflecting on Past Projects

For a time, my roommate/best friend and I collaborated on what we called "The Door Project." Every time someone went in or out of our door a picture was taken. This project went on for 5 months. The Objective was to show change, and the passing of time. I realized today that I miss it. Thinking about what it would have shown if we had kept it going has made me nostalgic. As we get older, and are no longer in school, time moves faster, and we seem to change even more rapidly without the common grounds of classes and homework to ground us, and bind us together.
My other work, often has an end result that I could not have anticipated, and with these photos it was the same. I thought that we would collect a series of images, that over a few months would show small changes. Hair lengthening or shortening. A change in the weather, and our style. These changes are there in small ways, but there was a much larger, over arching theme. Ultimately, what the photos illustrated, and (what I did not anticipate) was love. A love between friends, who shared and apartment, worked and went to school together. Five months of friends, old, and new boy friends caught in jpegs. The first time we view the photos, in a slide show, as we had intended this feeling became very clear. I enjoyed this project very much, and although I would change somethings next time (the light for example) I would very much like to repeat it again in the feature.

The Trouble with Trashing

Recently, my dear roommate's dear sister moved into our house from another state. She brought almost nothing with her. Glancing into her newly set up room for the first time, I felt envious of the openness. Though my tiny room was clean it felt crowded. I associated this feeling with messiness. "I have too much stuff," I said to myself in my head. To ditch the thought that I was somehow failing as an adult for keeping everything that has ever been sentamental to me, I decided to trash some of my things.
The trouble with trashing is, it goes against almost all of my values to just throw things away...How do I solve this problem? Clothes are easy; they can be given away, or used as fabric. What about the dead pens, broken jewelry, fake flowers I have used in 3 or so costumes (and now look dead)? What about the warn-out hand bags, shoes, tiny broken boxes? I sit, and stare, and feel guilty. Get discourage, stop cleaing...try again tomorrow. I shuffle, I give some away, I use items as blocks trying to turn them into something useful. I research: disposing responsibly, DIY blogs. I draw, starring.
The trouble with trashing is, it isn't simple.

Keeping the Buzz

Even more exciting news! For the month of August my paintings will be up in Tara's Organic Ice Cream and Gallery, a small Shop in the Temescal district of Oakland. The opening will be part of Oakland Art Murmur on August 5th. If you're out at the murmur come say "hey" and get some ice cream!

4731 Telegraph Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609

Dear New Painting

Dear New Painting, I hate you.
Fifty percent of the time I spend in my studio is spent looking at what I have just done, and calculating what I should do next. With every painting I have created there has come a point during my looking when I think, "I hate this painting." As it is nothing new to me it is nothing to be alarmed about, but rather the opposite. It means that it is time for me to decide weather to keep working on the painting, or if putting it a away for a few months would be best. Yesterday I was at this point with my newest painting. I decided to keep working. As I tried to work through the mess I had just created for myself, I realized I had made the wrong choice. I could not fix this painting now. I should have turned the painting around and started a new one. I am too close to it to see it properly, and I will only be able to see it with fresh eyes if I stop, turn it around and come back to it in about a month. I am heading into my studio to do so now.

older work

After some deliberation I have decided to change my website. The change is small, no restructuring or changing the look, but I have replaced the album "older work" with one called "paper". The album will be dedicated to the new work I am making that is smaller and- as you may have guessed- on paper. I want to make sure that I remember how long it has taken me to get to this place, so I am putting some of my older work on this blog.

More Exciting News!

There is a new cafe on Piedmont ave in Oakaland. Cafe Crush- a smoothy cafe- opened about a month ago and they have asked that I be the first person to show my work there! They would like the opening to be the day of the merchant's fair during the tulip festival, April 22, 2011! Side note: did you know Peidmount had a tulip festival? I didn't know either, but this year I will be there with smoothies on!
They have some large empty walls, and I am thinking about trying out some new groupings. We shall see, the walls are not white so the space might lend it's self well to new combinations. Also, some of my new, smaller paper work might go up. Right now they are framed, which I am still not very excited about, but I am going to try experimenting with some thicker paper. Maybe I can find a way to hang them that doesn't need a frame. turn them into objects. Having something new to show would also be nice. I am going to try and work hard to get a new painting finished in time, maybe two. Who knows? Spring 2011 here I come.

Exciting News

The first month of 2011 is already pleasantly eventful. The Rare Bird on Piedmont ave in Oakland is featuring my work for the month of January. It is a whimsical shop full of delightful clothes and nick-nacks. My colorful paintings fit right in. They are hosting a party on January 27th from 6-9. come check it out! http://therarebird.com/


I also have four small drawings art the Cozy Art Club in Oakland. I am particularly excited about this show because this is the first time I will have shown a group of drawings. I am excited to both of these opportunities. And grateful that I live in such pro-art city!