keeping my marbles.

Each day that I pick up my brush, or bottle of glue, or pencil I find it refreshing to work on something that I know has a feature.
I have been applying for jobs since May. Revising resumes, trying to learn new programs, writing new cover letters, checking job boards, and each time I send an email I can’t help but feel like it goes nowhere. It jets out into cyber space never to be read again. Because of this, creating has become more important. This hard time is helping me to feel more connected to what I am creating because even if it doesn’t get shown right away I have something that I can hold in my hands, and look at with my eyes. The link to my creation keeps me grounded by giving me a place to focus my energy. Seeing the progression keeps me sane because I know that all of my work is not for nothing. I am also reminded of how much I need this. How functioning in my daily life, leaving my house, coping with rejection, and finding happiness all become simpler, because I am sane, and grounded.

naming

Naming each piece of my work in a way that references reuse or the environment continues to allude me. Mostly, everything I can think of sounds cheesy. However, there is hope. My 23rd birthday just passed and one of my gifts was a thesaurus. If i dig deep enough I might be able to find less cheese-ball words for what I am trying to say.

break through

I have been thinking a great deal about these landscapes and where in time they exist. The reason for my inability to decide may be that I was thinking of them as a bundle. When in fact, they have had very separate lives and the way each one comes to conclusion has nothing to do with any of the other paintings. My reason for wanting to know in the first place is to find a way to extend the imagery. To make sure I don't paint the same painting over, and over. However, with the understanding that some images are meant to be of potential future landscapes and others are in the present, and (most recently) in the past, I can push the boundaries of what each landscape might look like. Understanding this, I have the ability to make paintings that encompass all of my ideas, and still look different form one another.

Reuse

I have a very difficult time throwing out my old clothes and paper trash. It stems from the feeling that I am going to need it later and will regret having throw it away. However, this feeling also comes from a concern for the environment, and the thought that if I can find a use for all of these items I won't be consuming or wasting. To deal with the rising trash mountain I created for myself I actively find uses for what is kept. If the trash is not used within a few months of going into the pile I have to get rid of it.
This next project came about because I was forcing myself to throw out my old painting clothes, when I was struck with an idea. What if I used the fabric from my old, warn-out clothes to redecorate the apartment?! So this is what I have been doing. I cut the clothes apart and make them into something pretty to go on top of the t.v., or the chair, or the wall, or who knows what? I am very happy so far with how the first two have turned out. I also think this is a great way to teach myself how to sew.

creating a blog.

i don't actually know how to blog, i have no idea what people will want to read about so for my first entry i am going to post pictures